Tazlina Zamila Khan
Children are the most vulnerable as they are always in need of support, either from parents or from teachers. A child’s behaviour varies from time to time. Usually, toddlers communicate in a strong way, which needs our patience. If we remain calm, quiet and react in a positive way this will help them learn to manage their behaviour. But, what is the actual scenario? We often term some toddlers as ‘bad’, ‘arrogant’ and ‘aggressive’ because of their behavioural issues. Usually, these types of kids need the support the most, which in most of the cases they don’t get. They often get punishments from the teachers in school. This ultimately breaks them apart from the inside.
As a result, these kids become more aggressive, they lose friends and at the end of the day, they are left lonely. We should be very much careful in the use of language with kids. We must be very picky. Approaching is a positive way even when they do something bad can teach them manners. Instead of saying ‘You are bad’, we could say ‘your behaviour didn’t make me happy’. Telling a child ‘I wish you never born’ sends a message to the child that he or she is unwanted.
Parents are always the first teacher for their children. Don’t think that your approach will not have any effect on your child’s future. Rather the present situations are going to build the future foundations of your child. You may not know it, but your daily behaviour, from the way you drive your voice tone, is shaping the way your child will act for the rest of their lives. Parents’ behaviour also influences them unintentionally through their own daily actions, such as conversing with other adults while their child is present.
I found mostly two types of parents more in numbers after being worked as a teacher. In most of the cases, their children are struggling with their behavioural problems.
Permissive parents are extremely responsive to their children, but ignore the demanding side of parenting. They are mostly focused on meeting the demand of their child without teaching them proper manners. They would likely buy their children whatever they want and allow them to stay out as late as they want. On the other hand, some parents are completely disengaged in responsiveness and demandingness and are considered rejecting-neglecting.
These parents would be the ones that don’t show up to any school functions ignore their children and are totally focused on their own needs. Both of these parenting styles have very negative impacts on their children.
Undoubtedly, parenting is not easy. The styles differ from family to family. But the basics should remain the same.
How do you want your child to be after 10-15 years? Do you want him to be aggressive or tolerant? Even his behaviour affects his surrounding like his friends, colleagues and many more. So, if you think your behaviour is giving him negative effects then you must work on that from today. Remember, your child is your own reflections so try to nurture him in the best way possible.
Tazlina Zamila Khan